Willard Mitt Romney’s campaign has, of late, been shambolic, if we’re being kind. Things started to unravel when he was upstaged at his own convention by a devastatingly charismatic empty chair and since then it has all been downhill.
Team Romney, always on the lookout for an excuse to exploit Mitt’s lack of principles, saw a chance to launch yet another relaunch amid the post-convention blues. It was one of those opportunities that only comes along fourteen times a campaign, so Romney really couldn’t afford to screw it up.
And – to think! – he would have got away with it, were it not for those pesky liberals. Unfortunately for the Republican, the launch of Romney 15.0 was neatly scuppered with the release of a video showing him dismissing – inaccurately, as it turns out, but facts haven’t proven Mitt’s forte – the 47 percent of Americans who don’t pay federal income tax.
Calm (some say oblivious) to the last, Willard tried to quell the uproar, saying he has spoken ‘inelegantly’. With such a display of political brilliance we were all reminded why he so effortlessly overcame the fierce challenges of such esteemed primary candidates as Herman Cain and Michelle Bachmann.
Unfortunately for Mitt, this explanation just didn’t cut the mustard with the liberal-elitist-fact-obsessed media. A few of them even dared to ask actual voters if they were offended by Mitt’s massively condescending comments. They said yes. But this only further confirmed what everyone in America was already thinking: the media are quite clearly biased towards Obama (where’s his birth certificate?! – Donald T.).
All this – one is tempted to call it a ‘Romney-shambles’, but we already wasted that phrase when the moron-Mormon came over here for the Olympics – looks like a campaign in complete and utter disarray.
Or at least, that’s what it looks like to the untrained eye. But, dear reader, this eye is far from untrained. In fact, if you will permit me a digression, this eye is in fact quite the opposite: just a little bit trained.
If you look beyond the surface, it is plain for all to see: Team Romney is executing a quite brilliant master plan. By being so authentically awful he has succeeded in dragging expectations to a level so low that a gnat with a broken leg could probably jump over them from a standing start.
I exaggerate (gnats cannot, of course, jump) but the point still stands. The thoroughly unpronounceable Quinnipiac University released a poll yesterday, saying that 54% predict Obama to win in the debate this evening, against only 28% who believe Romney will emerge victorious.
Thus Mittens has crafted himself an opportunity. If he manages not to set himself alight, insult poor people or generally just be Mitt (‘corporations are people, my friend’) then he could drag himself back into the game. Perception matters more than substance in these stage-managed debacles and Romney has a much better chance of exceeding his expectations than Obama does.
Of course, more likely than not, nothing exciting will happen. (The audience isn’t even allowed to clap.) But just by being on the same stage as the President expect the man with the perfectly coiffed hair to gain a little ground. Game-changer this is unlikely to be, but it will probably make the race a little closer. At least until the next video emerges.