As a child I was told that the Romans hated the month of February so much that they shortened it, so the whole grizzly, miserable, grey ordeal would be over as quickly as possible. Inspired.
If it wasn’t for the YUSU elections keeping me wildly entertained, as I peel the, ‘There’s still time, Vote Kallum,’ fliers off my kitchen floor and shoes, then I would have been cursing those Romans for keeping it at all. Like us, students across the UK have chosen February and March to hold their student union elections, as a nice distraction from being rained on.
We’re mostly ahead of the trend as St Andrews, Leeds, Edinburgh, Cambridge, Bristol, Manchester, (you get the idea,) are holding their elections in the next couple of weeks. A few universities, however, have joined us.
So far there have been great turn outs: “The student body broke records once again with 27,303 votes being cast,” writes Exeter University’s online paper Xmedia. “37.21% of students turned out to vote making Exeter one of the most democratic universities in the country.” Congratulations Exeter, you’re only 1.79% of students less democratic than us, and it was actually around 34.5%… Warwick too, had a thousand more votes than last year.
With most other universities yet to vote, it’s difficult to know if it’s normal to suffer foul play from candidates, or if we’re uniquely confused. Even if their elections run perfectly, BNOC out BNOCING other BNOCs without a hint of the bad loser/bad winner spirit, we can be reassured they have other issues. Some 45% of Warwick students, according to a poll conducted by their student paper, The Boar, are unhappy with their new sabbatical team, and last year’s Durham president apparently “paid his way into the role.”
If you had the (unlikely) thought that we alone were housing students mad enough to compare ourselves to Jesus, you were wrong. Durham’s new ‘DUS’ president termed himself ‘Barack’ Dallas throughout the elections, and watched (clutching his sides I imagine), as the runner-up quoted Nero’s last words, “Qualex artifex pereo” which means “what an artist dies in me.” One of the failed Warwick presidential candidates added he had, “never considered winning, because Nick (the winner) had the forces of darkness on his side. If we had won there would have been a Greggs.” Damn James Carney, why didn’t you promise us a Greggs?