Space Invaders

The University have openly admitted that they have no plans to combat an alien invasion on campus.

Freedom of Information data has also revealed that senior administration at the University have no plans to stop a possible zombie apocalypse on either of the Heslington campuses.

York senior staff were also unable to confirm what their plans are for a terrorist attack due to welfare implications.

The University have defended their lack of preparation though, with a spokesman mentioning that neither of these scenarios “feature in the UK’s National Risk Register, as prepared by the Cabinet Office for the Government.

“In the event of a global catastrophe outside its direct control, the University would act on the guidance issued by the Cabinet Office and the Emergency Planning College’s disaster strategies.”

Third-year Economics student Finn McGuire told Vision: “It might sound silly but this is actually pretty worrying – I’m sure I saw a UFO above Central Hall one night on the way back from Ziggy’s. Maybe they mistook it for one of their own!”