Interview with Willow King Tommy Fong

How long have you been at Willow for?
What you said, since 1973.

What are your hobbies out of work?
F*** all.

What football team do you support?
Man United.

Favourite Drink?
Boiling water.

What was your relationship with your brother? When did you take over Willow?
David and I didn’t have a good working relationship. I took over in ’82.

Now why do you always play that song by Rod Stewart – ‘We Are Sailing’?
Ahhh it is one of my favourites, ‘Bridge over Troubled Water’ (by Simon and Garfunkel) is also another favourite of mine.

Do people fall down the stairs? (Expecting to hear a PC health and safety answer)
Haha all the time!

Do you have a plan for the future in Willow?
I am pretty old. (How old he was eluded us, and one can only presume the age of a man who is a living relic of York)

Who is your favourite Willow bouncer? What can Konrad bench press?
Ohhh they are all the same. You’ll have to ask him, he’ll be here soon.

Do people still eat in Willow?
Very rarely. (Deputy Nightlife Editor Oliver Wessely has, and is still with us).

So how long have you been a disco?
Just a disco? 4 years.

What is the craziest thing you have seen in Willow?
The police raided us.

What?
Yeah the police thought we were illegal, hiring immigrants, someone squealed on us, but we are not, we are legal!

Konrad now arrives. In reference to an earlier question, Tommy asks Konrad: what can you bench press? Are the rumours true of you leaving?
“Foook off” replies Konrad.

“He doesn’t want to talk” says Tommy.

With that, we shook his hand and left.