Indifference is a trait students are becoming increasingly renowned for. At the extreme end of the spectrum, some spend the day murdering prostitutes on Grand Theft Auto, begging C list celebrities for retweets and perfecting the symmetry of their pubic hair with beard trimmers that don’t belong to them.
At the other end of the spectrum, there are those who choose not to get involved in university life because quite simply, “it’s a little bit gay.” Seeing as this is the first issue of a brand spanking new academic year, I am going to spend the next few hundred words explaining why it is absolutely vital you don’t let yourself melt into the oblivion of your concrete citadel.
Freshers’ week is a lot like Gareth Bale’s first few days at Real Madrid. You rock up after a long summer of not doing a lot, enthusiastically attempt some badge kissing (shouting “Uni” as loud as you can in Willow at 5am), thereby crushing the hearts of friends you’ve outgrown, but remain uncompromisingly convinced that this is the right thing to do. You receive a heart-warming welcome from Kallum Taylor (York’s Florentino Perez), meet your new colleagues (Ronaldo, Ramos, Alonso etc.) and are told to get on with whatever it is you are meant to be doing. But what are we meant to be doing?
Academically, first year matters a lot less than other years. So take the oppurtunity to do what you are meant to do, do more if you want but most importantly, make sure you dive head first into everything that could possibly make you happy at the University of York.
Try everything, speak to everyone (even to posh kids comparing how many African children they’ve managed to fit into their Facebook profile picture) and get into York as much as you can. Negative Nora’s aren’t going to have a good time. Of course, your degree is always important, but the bit about trying everything, remember that part.
York is a special city and it is important to make sure your first year memories are not just lines of Jaegerbombs interspersed with gormless marvelling at Clifford’s Tower and the historic city walls on the drunken walk home.
Unfortunately, York is designed around the seasonal demands of geese; a simple fact that drove one twisted Conservative councillor to propose a “humane cull” this summer.Winter is a deceivingly calm period; they huddle together at night, pathetically squarking in the cold. By spring, you’ll realise why second and third year students laughed when geese fell through the ice on cold January mornings. Geese can and will humble the most cocksure of you out there. It is perfectly acceptable to run away.
On a side note, it is not true that a Chinese student got expelled for killing and eating a goose on campus last year- the person who told you that is either a liar, a racist or a York Tory.
What I am trying to say, in a very long winded way, is that You Only York Once. Make the most of it and these could just end up being some of the best years of your life.