World Cup fever has descended upon the nation once again and I, for one, have been infected by this incurable disease. Its venom flows through my veins, forcing me to relentlessly badger my housemates about what they plan to do when my beloved England take to the field. I hope they understand that over the coming weeks, our TV has no other purpose than to be screamed at. As World Cup fever spreads, I suddenly develop an irrational need to listen to the skin-tingling, heart-pounding, and simply hypnotic sound of David Baddiel and Frank Skinner singing along to the legendary Lighting Seeds song, ‘Three Lions’. There is little hope for me now! No song since then has ever came close to encapsulating what I feel when I see our boys in white step onto the battlefield.
Not only does my mind drift back to that unforgettable chant of ’96, but also to the mesmeric rap from John Barnes in New Order’s ‘World In Motion’. The lyrics spoke to all the fans of the beautiful game; the whole song was simply fantastic. Then, when I was a young impressionable lad of only nine years I heard a song that would completely change my live forever. A song that puts Doctor Who and his Tardis to shame: ‘Carnival De Paris‘. It instantly transports me through time and space, sending me across the channel to France ’98. It’s the first World Cup song that I recall, and what a song it is!
Another example of football getting it right was the moment when Pavarotti sang the wonderful ‘Nessun Dorma’ at the 1990 World Cup in Italy. It was symbolic of that tournament and boldly summed up the passion of the Italian fans. However, the remake of ‘Three Lions’ in 1998 is the pinnacle of all football songs – we England fans can never seem to give up despite the years of hurt.
It is sometimes surprising how the mind holds onto the good, and casually throws away the bad. Nevertheless, no account of football songs would not be complete if I did not criticise, condemn and castrate all those who have ruined this spectacular global event by creating some form of musical atrocity. Ant and Dec, Slim Jim and even Embrace are all guilty offenders with sub-standard songs. They are either boring, horrendously repetitive or, in the case of Embrace, instantly forgettable. In fact the vast majority of football songs are woeful, cringe inducing and tuneless.
Yet, for South Africa 2010 there is a chance for salvation. Although there is to be no official world cup song this year, many artists are competing to be the unofficial anthem of the World Cup. Russell Brand and Robbie Williams are attempting the third remake of the uplifting ‘Three Lions’, and the alternative comedy god Rik Mayall is releasing ‘Noble England’. This interesting piece is a football version of Shakespeare’s epic Henry V speech before the taking of Harfleur, and has since been replicated by the BBC.
After listening to both, I am going offer the exact same advice to those who are hopeful for an English triumph in South Africa. They should be great, they should be amazing, and they should be world beaters. However, these offerings are just not. How Williams and Brand, as avid football fans, could do such a thing to this Song of Songs begs belief! Then again, listening to Robbie’s latest offerings and watching Russell’s movies, I begin to understand. As for Rik’s track, though it is considerably better, it is unlikely to inspire the crowds to chant “Shakespeare!” from the stands, and is well below what I expected from someone of his undoubted genius. With other musicians such as Noel Gallagher lining up for another attempt, I think during this World Cup I may be hurling obscenities in other directions besides where the TV is stood.
At the end of the day, in terms of football songs, it’s a game of two halves. All the lads put in a tremendous amount of effort and we know their hearts are in the right places, sometimes we may not get the result we wanted but we can be proud of almost all of the performances. You think the clichés are over? they are now.
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