There are those who out there feel that lawyers are, broadly, a less than reputable bunch. Merely exploiting our legal system for their own ends, getting guilty men off the hook, turning brother against sister, father against son, mother against daughter, friend against friend.
However, it’s good to see that despite this apparently corrosive system, one man still has the courage to obtain real justice for a man so badly wronged, despite how long ago his death actually occurred.
Where others would have poo pooed and said “it simply can’t be done” “this is quite literally the most ludicrous idea I have ever heard” and “Have you incurred a recent cranial injury?” One devout Roman Catholic said no, Justice has no time limit, and it is high time we finally got justice for a crime which has gone unpunished long enough: the crucifixion of Jesus Christ.
Dola Indidis, “reportedly a lawyer” and former spokesperson for the Kenyan Judiciary is looking to the International Court of Justice to bring legal proceedings against, amongst others: The State of Israel, Roman Emperor Tiberius, The Republic of Italy, Pontius Pilate and King Herod. Indidis told Kenyan newspaper the Nairobian in a recent interview. “His selective and malicious prosecution violated his human rights through judicial misconduct, abuse of office bias and prejudice.”
Asides from perhaps forcing Kenya to rethink the criteria for obtaining a law license in their country, what’s most amusing about this is that it’s not even THAT ridiculous, at least in principle. The re-opening and re trying of so called “cold cases” is a well-established precedent, they even made several TV shows about it, and if we can re-open a case from 30 years ago, who’s to say we can’t re open one from 2000 years ago? Similarly, we bring lawsuits against large organizations all the time, due to the alleged crimes of their management, so why not allow cases to be brought against nation states for the offences of their leaders? It wouldn’t even be the first time a defendant was tried posthumously. There was Pope Formosus in the “cadaver synod” of 897 (although they quite literally sat the corpse down in the room with them, which is properly mental). In fact, just last month in Russia a lawyer named Sergei Magnintsky was posthumously found guilty of tax fraud (Although thankfully I don’t think they felt the need to actually have him present that time).
Nor of course, can most really dispute that Jesus probably got broadly speaking, a bum deal out of the original trial. Attempting to get some measure of recompense for a man who was nailed to a freaking cross for essentially, just telling people to be nice to each other is nowhere near as ludicrous a lawsuit as the one High School Student Vinicios Robacher brought against his Maths Teacher in 2008 for “waking him up during class”. Or the one filed by prison inmate Robert Lee Brock in 1995, in which he attempted to sue HIMSELF for 5 million dollars, to be paid by the state of which he was a warden.
Of course, despite these compelling arguments, the International Court of Justice appears unconvinced, with a spokesman stating “It is not even theoretically possible for us to consider this case”. I doubt that will dissuade Mr Indidis, although there are several other practical matters to consider in re trying this case, such as the inherent difficulties of looking at a case tried under an archaic, primitive legal system, a lack of any reliable, living witnesses, sketchy historical details at best and the fact that the trial and alleged crimes took place in a country which technically no longer exists.
Ultimately, it looks unlikely that Dola Indidis will get his wish, but if he miraculously manages to pull this off, I for one look forward to the precedent of being able to retry any dubious or unsolved case from history. We might finally be able to get to the bottom of who offed the princes in the tower, or establish once and for all whether Joan of Arc actually was a witch. I for one would like to offer my services as council in the event any of these cases go to trial. My qualifications? Well I have an A-Level in history, which hell, given the farcical context, might as well be considered good enough.