Summer is here, and so are the crazy trends such as pastel coloured straw hats and Tommy Hilfiger’s ridiculous sailor stripes. Don’t fear, we are on hand to show you how to wear the trends well this summer.
GETTING FRUITY
OK, I know this is very Prada S/S 2011- remember the crazy banana earrings and pineapple prints?- but graphic prints are very much in this season, what better way to do it than wearing something fun, flirty and fruity? I’ve also been informed that yellow is the new black. I love this Lemon Dress from Harvey Nick’s but it is so expensive that I couldn’t afford it in my wildest dreams. This pineapple print bikini from Topshop is to die for, and these banana earrings from ASOS would be cool with a plain, dark outfit to make them pop. They’re only £2, too! 
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SHIMMER AND SPARKLE
I love to sparkle, and I was so happy that I’m able to use the clothing that only normally comes out at Christmas and New Year’s parties, that seems inappropriately glitzy for the rest of the year. Don’t go for New Look’s sparkly bikinis unless you want to look like Snooki, though. I’d go for one crazy piece, or a few subtle shimmery ones. Do as Becca said in her nail article and mix it in with the current pastel trend; ice cream colours sweet enough to rot your teeth. Emulate the lovechild of Prada and the tooth fairy. This belt from ASOS would be a good colour pop for a plain outfit, perhaps round the waistband of that denim playsuit from last year or for trusty acid wash jeans on a rainy British day.This Boohoo boutique dress would be perfect for a summer party, and manages to fuse three summer trends without looking tacky or too ‘out there’; geometric prints, pastels and glitter! If you’re feeling daring, attempt to channel Chanel with your eye makeup.
MIGHTY MONOCHROME
Think 60s siren rather than Acne’s eye-watering bold stripes; Edie Sedgewick rather than a Mime. I’d go for this playsuit from Topshop paired with some strappy black or white sandals or espadrilles. This makes it not too severe for summer but you still capture the clean monochrome look, which is probably my favourite trend.
What not to wear
– Nautical clothing. Sorry, but this comes around every summer and the new ‘bold nautical stripes trend’ is just a revamp of what we’ve seen every year for the past few years. Nautical is to summer what florals are to spring; boring. Maybe it’s the trauma from wearing an Ann Summers sailor suit at Halloween talking but if I ever see an anchor again I think I’ll be sick. Put your red, white and blue firmly away!
– Pencil Skirts. Why, oh why would pencil skirts come into fashion in the summer? They are reminiscent of office work, not of breezy beaches and hippies at summer festivals. Have you ever tried to run, or clamber over rock pools in a pencil skirt? Don’t. Also they rip when you do crazy dancing, take it from someone who knows. And the glittery pencil skirts that I’ve seen on the high street are just too much. Abrasive silver sequins on unflatteringly long and tight skirts just looks like an overtly uncomfortable from of fashion torture.
– Varsity. Topshop’s all-american unflatteringly short and tight crop tops and ‘boyfriend’ varsity jackets make me want to be sick. There is something almost paedophilic and lolita schoolgirl-esque about this trend, and the football jackets are reminiscent of the ‘mean girls’ in a tacky teen American high school movie. Unless you go to the University of Pennsylvania and are really enthusiastic about their football team, I don’t want to see you wearing the ‘varsity jacket’ that purports to support them. Get a Uni of York one for a fraction of the price from CostCutter instead. Also I highly resent seeing the people who bullied me at school for being a ‘boffin’ wearing awful croptops with the word ‘NERD’ proudly emblazoned across the chest. Don’t invest in one because so many people have them now that it is boring and unoriginal, and if you are the sort of person who has to announce to the world via a TopShop crop top that you are a nerd or a geek then you are probably not one.