Everyone’s got at least one idea for a film so we had a brainstorm (or thought shower) in the Vision office and came up with ideas for films that would rock Hollywood:
Pride and F*ckin’ Prejudice dir. Quentin Tarantino
Young aristocrat Lizzy Bennet (Uma Thurman) has led a blessedly quiet life in the English countryside… that is until bad-ass mother’ucker Fitzwilliam Darcy (Samuel L. Jackson) rolls into town and messes her shit right up.
Finding herself falling for Darcy’s smooth charm, Lizzy is soon dismayed to discover that he’s a homicidal maniac bent on wiping out the entire Bennet family in ever more gruesome ways. Eventually, finding herself trapped in a lethal marriage, she decides that enough is enough. She decides to take a stand. She decides to kill Will.
Thunder Cats
As anyone who’s seen the mock trailer on Youtube knows, Thundercats would make an awesome movie. Whereas so many recent action films have suffered from a lack charm (the Transformers films, G.I. Joe), the Thundercats have charisma in abundance. Whether the film was made using advanced motion capture technology (a la the upcoming Tintin films) or just featured actors in campy costumes, the humour and warmth of the characters would definitely shine through. The last tv series ended in 1989 so it really is high time for an onscreen reunion and another battle against the evil Mumm-Ra.
And a couple we wouldn’t…
The Roman Polanski Story
The film focuses on the later part of Polanski’s life, specifically his flight from an oppressive and sinister government who wish to persecute him because of his genius. The audience watches from the edge of their seats as Roman (Sean Penn) flits around Europe directing masterpieces and evading an evil American spy (Willem Dafoe).
The finale, a rousing courtroom scene, ends with Roman being acquitted and a new amendment being added to the constitution stating that anyone who can be called a genius auteur is automatically exempt from the laws that govern mere mortals. As the joyous crowd spills out of the courtyard they burst into a rendition of ‘Roman Christ, Superstar’ which includes a triumphant and moving solo delivered by Lady Justice herself (Dianne Wiest).
Schindler’s List dir. Mel Gibson
Controversial and revolutionary actor-cum-director Mel Gibson says “hell no!” to PC with his remake of Steven Spielberg’s revisionist Schindler’s List. A thrill-a-minute splatterfest with complex psychological undercurrents, Mel Gibson’s Schindler’s List examines the frightening consequences of freedom and racial equality. The world has been torn apart by
bloodthirsty Jews out for misguided revenge following the end of WW2. So far, so Inglourious Basterds, but for one volksgemeinschaft-hating German, Oskar Schindler (Sean Bean), the world is not enough. Springing some of Israel’s most deadly from rightful imprisonment in the Vatican, he takes his vendetta into the heavens… That’s right. Jews, in space.