York’s casual sex scene has been revolutionised. Lonely iPhone wankers, Willow clichés and sports hunks alike are now just two swipes away from an evening of tragic flirting and awkward sex.
For those who have never heard of Tinder, it’s the latest brainchild of an American tech firm that connects users who “like” each other’s profile on the app. The lethal combination of locality, anonymity and usability means that users can chat, flirt and sleep with somebody they find attractive and most importantly, finds them attractive too.
However, experienced users of Tinder will have realised that the application is far less simple than the creators intended it to be. I initially found the application to be a confusing minefield of nymphomaniacs, casual sex workers and women who think Kate Moss is staring back at them every time they look into a mirror. Nevertheless, upon returning to university, my Tinder experienced changed as students swiped away and eventually matched themselves with willing suitors.
I have still not worked out what to say when I am matched with someone I know. A pathetic ‘hi’ certainly isn’t doing the trick. What’s more, women seem to have privately agreed to disparagingly say “haha, I’m just trying this out because my friends told me I should do it” at the start of every conversation. You’re all liars.
Even so, success stories are not hard to come by. Those who remain prudish about internet dating should bite the bullet and join the party. Tinder removes nagging insecurities from the equation and allows users to break the ice far more efficiently than the drunken ‘lean in and hope’ method that many students still rely on.
Success aside, there have been some low points too. My worst Tinder experience occurred on a short break in Madrid this summer. As I swiped through the Spanish capital’s many beautiful women, the app matched me with the lovely Carmen, a stunning 22 year old from South Madrid. My luck was in – boring year 12 Spanish lessons had been worth it after all. Unlike many British women, Carmen was chatty and keen to know more about me. It was going fantastically. But then she sent me a link to her cam site.
Don’t let my humiliation put you off. As long as you don’t study History of Art, quote Marilyn Monroe like she’s Plato, or loiter in the background of group photos hoping someone will mistake you for your more attractive friend, there is somebody out there for you.
