While looking at newspapers from across the country, there seem to be romantic encounters making headlines.
It has been reported that Bristol University has seen a “Kiss In” protest. Organised by thep LGBTQ society, over 40 couples were seen handing out flyers, proposing to their respective partners and embracing under showers of confetti. The event was considered a great success both in encouraging confidence and pride within the gay community, as well as offering support for the recent Gay Marriage bill.
In a slightly darker incident, Bristol students have been targeted as responsible for an 80% rise in supermarket scanner thefts. Commenting on the allegations, The Community Beat Manager for the University of Bristol, Nick Boyce, remarked that ‘the Clifton Downs Sainsbury’s is the worst affected in the whole country along with one other store in Bath.’ He continued to note his ‘surprise’ at the affair considering the “relatively affluent” status of students in the area.
Leeds University students have continued their success in the coveted “burglary hot spot” tables. Areas including Bramley, Gamble Hill and Swinnow boast 34.8 claims per 100,000 police enquiries, the most in the country. Truly a concrete jungle in comparison to the gentle York scene, the high prices of inner city housing force students to the more dangerous outlets; the most popular student zones separated from the University by recent winner of “area most likely to be raped in”, Hyde Park.
At the complete other end of the spectrum, Oxford University student and member of the Bullingdon club Orme Alexander Clark has been charged with lighting a firework in The Bridge nightclub.
Despite little to no harm being caused and the connection to the infamous club being at best tenuous, the incident evidently highlights the shameful behaviour of society’s elite who continue to resist the en vogue effects of the now triple dip recession.
Glasgow, Edinburgh and Cambridge Universities have been embroiled in a sad show of matriarchal regression. During a debate concerning the centralisation of religion, two female members from Edinburgh and Cambridge were met with cat-calls, comments on their physical appearances and a shout of “frigid bitch”.
Durham and Exeter have recently played a rugby match.
Despite “unstoppable” rolling mauls, “guile” and an “impressive backline”, the game was considered unimportant in “the grand scheme of things” and saw the boys troop quietly back to the changing rooms following the final whistle.