By the mid-season point, Reign has abandoned any pretence at historical accuracy other than the presence of a teenaged Mary, Queen of Scots (Adelaide Kane) in France to keep her safe from those ever-present ne’er-do-wells: the English. Who cares though? It’s such fun!
Mary and her beau, the Dauphin Francis (Toby Regbo), have slept together. Cue ominous crack of lightning, dramatic change in score and the arrival of an emissary from the Vatican to send them both to burn in hell for having sex out of wedlock. Well, only for Mary technically by constrictions of the time, Francis is off the hook because he’s a man. Fortunately, he brings better tidings for everyone – bloody Mary’s dying! This gets a suitably sympathetic reaction from Henri II (Alan Van Sprang), who stops short of rubbing his hands together with glee. He may as well have considering his, “England will be mine,” megalomaniac spiel that goes on for about a minute. He’s going to have them married and have England! Catherine de Medici (Megan Fellows) goes into a major sulk, muttering “No, you can’t.” Then there’s this week’s That’s So Nostradamus moment as everyone’s favourite foreseer of imminent doom has a vision. It’s about Francis dying if he marries Mary, again.
In other news, Henri II’s sort-of-mistress Kenna (Caitlin Stasey), formerly Mary’s lady-in-waiting is getting a bit insecure about the fact Diane de Poitiers, the King’s actual mistress, (Anna Walton) is still at Court and the only person attempting a French accent. She’s not angry about that, I am: they can’t all hate the English that much if they sound so much like they’re from the home counties. “I’M DESTROYED,” she whines at him, in case any casual viewer hadn’t twigged why Mary and Francis are in the shit for sleeping together. Fortunately, Kenna has a spot of luck since she happens upon a Vatican messenger who mistakes her for Diane and tells her Diane is trying to get her son, Sebastian (Torrance Coombes), the King’s bastard legitimised.
Kenna goes to Catherine with the news, and gets her ear by saying she has news that might save Francis. Unfortunately, Kenna isn’t quite the expert court mover-and-shaker she thought she was, because Catherine takes the information to Diane and blackmails Diane into bumping Kenna off with poison. “There’s two things I can’t abide, betrayal and stupidity, and Kenna is guilty of both,” she says malevolently, stalking around Henri’s bedchamber while Diane’s starkers in his bed. If Diane doesn’t leave, she’ll spill the beans about the legitimisation and that’ll make France look insecure succession-wise when Henri needs security so the Vatican can declare Elizabeth Tudor illegitimate. It’s possibly my favourite scene of the series. “Why must I always be the one with blood on my hands?” she laments, leaving the bottle on the bedside table for Diane.
Catherine spooks Mary into speaking to Nostradamus and he gives her an equally ominous prophecy about his vision. He also saw that one of Mary’s ladies is going to die, and this is a vision that’s going to happen. Other than Kenna though, nobody really gives a hoot since the other three haven’t had much impact.
A servant delivers Kenna a sixteenth-century Lemsip, which for once actually is deadly. The scene cuts away though to a young girl running, coughing through the halls, dying and is then pushed down the stairs by someone wearing a sack. It turns out to be one of the blonde ladies-in-waiting whose been done in. Sad ‘n’ all but I wasn’t actually sure what her name was until they all started mourning Aylee (Jenessa Grant). “YOU ARE THE DEVIL!” Mary shouts at Nostradamus.
Turns out Nostradamus knows the girl in a sack. He wrestles her away to an uncertain fate in the tunnels. The death of Aylee also makes Mary realize she can’t doom Francis to death. In a typically ahistorical scene, she storms into the throne room and announces to him, “I am not walking away from you, I am walking away from France.” She then promptly rides off into the sunset with the King’s bastard.
Reign is simply fun. It doesn’t take itself too seriously,it isn’t a stickler for dull historical accuracy and it actually makes the format of a teenage Mary Queen of Scots workable. Special commendation should go to Megan Fellows who completely steals the show as the sinister Catherine de Medici, always plotting and scheming in the background. ‘Fated’ cemented Reign’s place as one of the strongest shows out of the US this season and one crying out for a UK broadcast.
Unlikely taglines for a poison:
Catherine (to Nostradamus): It’s quite nice. Very herbal.
Going to have a sip then, are you, Cath?
Queen of Obvious Moment of The Week:
Mary (to Francis, post coitus): You don’t think we’re being too reckless, do you?
What having sex when you aren’t married and need to produce your virginity to state your dignity? No. Not reckless at all.
Hilarious Hindsight Moment:
Francis (on making Mary’s claim to England): It could cost you your head.
A-HA. LOL. Because that’s what happens in the end. Oh, you Reign-writers really are on the money.