Resolutions are stupid, so don’t take part in them unless they are from these expertly reviewed and suggested ones.
The non-denominational winter break is over, and now is everyone’s chance to pretend to be a slightly better person for the first half of January. Over a third of resolutions don’t even make it past January – this statistic is thrown around every year by at least one pessimistic killjoy but the fact still stands. Your New Year’s resolution probably wont make it that far. But it’s okay.
We’ve made it to university. We’re done now, first years are still useless, second years are desperately poor and third years are hiding somewhere in the library. This is as good as our personalities are going get. If you started university as an unhealthy, lazy, adequately smelling person, you’re most likely going to leave the exact same way. Don’t waste your time or anyone else’s pretending you’re going to be better at being you. You’re probably not that even that bad, and if you are that’s cool too. Awful people make life fun and interesting for everyone else.
But if you think this is pessimistic, narrow minded and rude about your possible far fetched achievements it’s okay. Everyone is wrong sometimes. University is a time for self discovery and change, just make them of your own accord. Not because a Buzzfeed article showed you eleven trendy ways to pretend your life is better. But because there are a couple things that we could all resolve to do for this new year that would make York a slightly better place to be. We can all help out with the flooding support, even if a lot of us are making it back to campus too late to help out on the ground, there are still loads of volunteering options open for people to get stuck into. This can replace the stupid resolution everyone makes to help out the world, whilst simultaneously helping the local people who need it.
We can all call out the obnoxious group of girls or lads screaming the n-word from the top of their lungs in Kuda next Tuesday. No its not starting up a York chapter of the Black Panthers, but it’s definitely a helping hand in stopping the spread of idiot people who think they can say whatever they want with no repercussions. This one is special, it lets you give the dirtiest look possible to someone but for the purest of reasons. And lastly, be a little less selfish. By nature students are a tad bit more self-concerned than most people. But it doesn’t have to be that way, last term was full of selfish people being annoying and ruining people’s day. Referring specifically to the Derwent faeces scandal of 2015, don’t be that person that spoils the day of everyone else for a joke that didn’t even bang.
2016 doesn’t have to be that way. It can be better, just make it better with the pre-approved resolutions, which probably aren’t that good but life is a roller-coaster. The moral of the story remains don’t be annoying with your resolution, do something useful or go away.