Let the games begin

Kezia Noble is female Pick Up Artist. She helps men get the women they desire. We spoke to her about dating, university and what to do if you’re really ugly. 

Freshers week and first impressions. How should I play it?

“Everyone is literally a blank canvass. There is no baggage, no nasty rumors and no background information on you yet. So how you behave and interact with others is of paramount importance at this stage. Are you the extrovert? If so, then be bold in your introductions and make it clear to others that you are unapologetically confident and brash (unapologetic being the operative word here.) At the same time, you need to always convey the notion that although you love to impress but the ultimate goal is for others to impress you too. If you are the introvert, then always maintain the fact that your quietness is a sign of strength rather than a sign of shyness.

Remember to never be the friend beggar. People need to always identify you as the person who has his or her own social life away from university, and someone who is in no dire need to make friends. This does not mean you should be anti-social, but there is a fine line in being too nice and being a cool friendly person who’s comfortable with themselves.”

I am really ugly. What should I do?

“It’s a total myth that ugly guys get less girls than the good looking guys. Most of my team of male instructors are guys who admittedly lack in the looks department, and they get much more positive female attention than most of the handsome men I know.

Game out shines ‘type’ everytime. Of course we all have an idea of what are set type is, but how often do we end up going crazy for the guy or girl who didn’t initially hit the spot?  We meet people all the time who might not possess the physical qualities we search for, but for some reason, their sense of humor, passion, viewpoints, body language and confidence seals the deal! If you rely on looks, you’re more likely to end up with far less than the guy who relies on his personality, mind, confidence and general game.”

An awkward hello, a brief biography and I am stuck in the friend-zone.  Fuck.

“Nice guys end up in the friend zone. But what is the nice guy exactly? Well let me start by making it clear that the nice guy should not be mistaken with the great guy. Nice guys are bland, forgettable and replaceable. They never challenge the girl, they never flirt, they are never cheeky, but instead they choose to nod their head in agreement with everything the girl says, and just hope that somehow the girl will be charmed by the bland mask he has decided to adopt. They literally will bend their own reality in accordance with the girls.

Be aware of this, and never believe that the girl will not sleep with you just because you challenged her or flirted with her. In fact, you would be surprised how well girls respond to these methods.”

How can I sleep with my flatmate and not make it awkward?

“Make sure you are both on the same page before the romance commences. If you feel she might like you more than you like her,  although it’s  often very difficult to resist, you have to take in to account that she might be very clingy, jealous and of course hurt, when she realizes that you only viewed the encounter as a meaningless shag. This will of course lead on to a damaged reputation which will consequently lead to other women becoming wary of your intentions.”

Some people say you are promoting macho fallacies. Is your job synonymous with feminism?

“I would not say it is synonymous with feminism, however I would not say it is anti-feminism either. If I were to tell you that women were essentially stupid or were unable to make up their own minds about what they want, then yes, I would certainly be dangerously close to the realms of anti-feminism. I have never and will never utter such ignorant statements, as this would only serve to reflect badly on myself.

However, I will unapologetically confess that there are an abundance of women in this day and age who continually complain about the lack of interesting, confident, strong men out there, which is why so many end up turning to internet dating.

Let me explain. Men usually ‘mess up’ in the initial introduction stages of the interaction. They will often come across as nervous (or too drunk) and fail to make that crucial impact. They will literally not know what to say, and will fail to make the girl feel relaxed, which will consequently lead to a generic interaction with zero impact. The woman will make her excuses and come to the conclusion that men are no longer men. It’s a vicious cycle, and so I teach men how to make a positive impact and to understand what women want in a way which remains congruent with their own style and personality.”

In other words, I’m saying to women: Look ladies, the men you are looking for are out there! They just need some help these days with the introduction!”

What’s your favorite pick up move?

“There are so many! The one I like best is called “Breaking Rapport.”

This is when you literally leave the woman whom you are talking to at a high point, and then come back to her later. This always leaves the girl wanting more, and essentially it demonstrates to the girl that you are a man in demand and that if she wants to get to know you more, she needs to work for it. Women always appreciate the man she has had to work for far more than the man who let her know that he is hers on plate. It’s a clever little move that comes across very natural. It also has other benefits, such as giving her adequate time to digest her encounter with you and realize that you’re not like the other guys who end up hovering around her like a mosquito, just because she was being friendly.”

She’s pretty, she’s beautiful and I don’t know what to say to her. Help me.

“Either go in direct and tell her that she is ‘stunning’ and was wondering if she had an awesome personality to match. This states the obvious, which demonstrates confidence, but the sting afterwards tells her that you are not sold on the idea of her looks alone.

Or, you totally dismiss her good looks entirely! Talk to her like you were talking to your kid sister. Beautiful women are used to men being tongue tied around them, or putting them on a pedestal. If you go into the interaction with a cocky and playful mindset, you will automatically stand miles apart from the guys.”

Is love the ultimate aim?  

“Yes. All the men who come to me are ultimately searching for the woman who will let them love them for who she really is, and in turn will love him back for who he is.”

Finally, how should women approach men they like? 

“Women need to apply similar techniques to their game. They can never come across too needy. They also need to demonstrate the fact that they are someone who is in demand and thus someone who has a limited amount of time. These qualities are always essential for both men and women. A man does not want to be with a woman who is nee of his validation or who feels some sort of imperative desire to qualify themselves to him. Men also are more attracted to women who are busy, popular and who have other things going on in their lives that do not involve him.

Women also need to work on their body language. A woman can look ten times more appealing if she changes her walk and general deportment. A slouchy walk indicates lack of positivity and confidence, whilst standing tall can radiate self-confidence. Men often tell me that certain lady like qualities might seem outdated, but they admit to me how much of a turn on it can be too.”

What do you think? Is there a room for ‘the game’ in today’s dating world? Get involved in the debate, pitch a response to [email protected]