A SHOCKING sports social drunkenly intruded the library with around twenty-five members of a college football team. They were also seen causing havoc in James College.
Chaos started at 9pm this evening when the drunken revellers, sporting a range of skirts, dresses and high heels, ran into the library chanting “Goodricke, Goodricke.” It is unclear whether the team was from Goodricke however, with some claims that they were in fact a Halifax team.
They quickly dispersed, enabling the cross-dressing footballers to infiltrate the top three floors of the library. The group were overheard asking another student if she was “watching porn” on her laptop.
One third-year, female politics student said: “They just came up to me whilst I was reading, and told me that I was far too good looking to be in the library.” The library was at a standstill as the crowd moved around shouting and laughing at various studious individuals.
Security services, quick to respond, asked the group to move on, but that wasn’t the end of it! Onlookers watched as one footballer made a run for it, hotly pursued by one of security services.
One onlooker said: “It was like something out of a comedy scene, this skinny lad in a skirt being chased around the library, and up and down the stairs, by some old man from security services – everyone was looking, there was a really jovial atmosphere!”
When Vision asked one of the revellers to comment on the chaos he told us to “f**k off.”
Eventually, after half an hour, the library was restored to its normal order. It is unclear where the rowdy social went to next, but there have been reports of the same group causing chaos in blocks across campus.
Infactual: Chaos started at about 6.
Fact about Goodricke; they hate tables.
And that bird was watching porn. Dirty filthy midget porn.
They were acting like idiots, it wasn’t funny it was pathetic. People with deadlines, like me, really did not appreciate it.
To the best of my knowledge this was not Goodricke college’s football team. Our provost has already looked into the matter this morning.
Well done lads, they don’t like it up ’em.
I actually thought this was blody funny, despite the massive phallus drawn on my work at the time. There was no hostitlity and the only shock was how polite they were, consdering how battered they were. I’d liken the noise levels when they were in the library as being similar to normal daytime levels, if not quieter.
‘Annoyed’- get your work done on time and don’t try and pin problems resulting from a shoddy work schedual on a group of very well dressed lads.
It’s a fact- good looking girs shouldn’t be in the libary. They’re such a rarity in York that they really should be banned from working at all, but have some sort of bursary scheme worked out for them instead to brighten up campus and clubs in town.
I do hope that Goodricke football team had a good night in town afterwards.
It was us. We confess entirely to the crime.
We hate tables, but love porn and anarchy.
Deepest apologies, the captain of the college of Goodricke’s footballing team.
I was trying to do my workings and these prannocks broke my train of thought.
In terms of level of distraction, I shouldn’t think this would have been much worse than the case with the average few idiots who can be found on most days conducting a full volume conversation on the second floor like it was the bloody Courtyard. It really is inconsiderate toward people who care about getting work done. The other day I sat through a girl sitting down at the other side of the desk from me, talking loudly for about an hour, and then leaving without doing any work.
We are Goodricke, we hate tables…seeing as we will be sitting at the bottom of the table at the end of the season FACT
We have a lot to answer for. I apologise to everyone we offended. On a more serious note, when oh when will the university address the table situation? Everywhere I look there are ruddy tables. Its political correctness gone mad.