From the merrymaking at King Glasto to cosy shindigs at Lounge on the Farm, these celebrations of music, otherwise known as festivals have become a staple summer outing for the masses. Where else can you get away with drunkenly cavorting between stages dressed as a bird of prey? Or watch an old band you thought to be dead (awkward) perform live followed by a dubstep producer within the space of minutes? There’s something pretty special about the atmosphere at a festival that just can’t be found elsewhere.
But it’s time to take off the rose-tinted Ray-Bans of nostalgia, and remember music festivals aren’t always quite so peachy. The downfalls of a weekend of hedonism include expensive beer, a total lack of showering and the dreaded, rancid port-a-loos by day three. These little negatives, however, are all part of the fun. The feelings of exhaustion and satisfaction as you stumble back to reality, having left behind your broken tent and your dignity make the general lack of hygiene feel worthwhile.
Although some of the festivals I’ve attended haven’t been quite so fantastic (Harvest, anyone?), with just lame acts and the presence of the prime minister to whine about, none of them have been as diabolically cocked up as these three. Whether just down to overcrowding, money problems or freak weather storms, these ill-starred festival flops sadly weren’t the place to be that weekend…
Bloc 2012
Having previously been held at holiday resorts 
such as Butlins Minehead, electronic music festival Bloc relocated this summer to London Pleasure Gardens, hoping to accommodate several thousand revellers. With a hyped up bill boasting Orbital, Battles and Snoop Dogg (sorry, Lion) alongside the promise of a late sound license. The festival before long suffered overcrowding problems, causing it to close prematurely after the Met police intervened with concerns for crowd safety. Frustrated festival-goers took to Twitter to vent their anger at the organisers of “the worst festival ever”, who later released an apology on their website putting overcrowding problems down to site layout and insisting they had not, despite reports, oversold tickets. The company have since gone into administration.
Pukkelpop 2011
The popular Belgian festival was forced to cancel after huge storms rampaged through the site, causing widespread devastation and resulting in five deaths and many more injuries. One student attending tells Vision: “Huge poplar trees were flying through the air. The scariest moment was when the seams of the tent we were in started to split and water gushed through.” With the tragic suicide of Ou Est Le Swimming Pool’s lead singer on site the year before, it would seem Pukkelpop hasn’t had the best of luck. Nevertheless, this determined festival devotee returned for this year’s event, and can confirm it was worth the hike “A minute’s silence and a firework display were held in respect for last year. The place had good vibes… and perfect weather, which was kind of ironic.”
Zoo Thousand 2008
Organisers conjure up all sorts of crazy hooks to entice punters into their festivals each year. In this case, the word ‘zoo’ hoped to bring in savage beasts of the human kind. The first timer, held at an animal park in Kent, suffered major money problems. Acts pulled out last minute after not being paid, Mark Ronson was rumoured to have been paid with a wheelbarrow of pound coins from the bar, and the constant set changes meant nobody knew what was going on. This, combined with little security and a lack of drinking water meant chaos descended, narrowly salvaged by bigwigs from the zoo stepping in to pay up. I remember receiving a flyer a week before the festival began offering half price tickets
– a warning sign that Zoo8 was going to be well under its capacity and short of cash.