Cat-astrophe at No.10

From the ‘betrayal’ of the Lib Dems over the Jeremy Hunt vote to the vicious Tory tactics of the ‘no’ campaign which led to open rowing at Cabinet, the ‘calm and businesslike’ relationship between Cameron and Clegg has now surely been exposed as a myth. However, when the history books are written about the 2010-2015 period, the Cameron-Clegg relationship will feature as something of a footnote. Behind the scenes at No 10 there is a much greater tension rising between two great political animals.

The other week police had to be called in to break up a full-scale cat fight outside No 10. Larry, the Downing Street cat, and Freya, the feline in residence at the Treasury, battled tooth and claw over the soul of mouse-catching duties in Downing street. On this occasion the treasury came out on top, with Larry having to be escorted back inside No 10 with his tail between his legs. But this now very public struggle between pest-control partners is far from finished.

The feud can be traced back to January 2011 when a large rat was twice seen scuttling past live TV cameras, prompting the PM to draft in an urbane killer. Larry was seen at the time as a perfect candidate for the tough task of rodent reduction. He had a “strong predatory drive”, according to Battersea Dogs and Cats Home, and having been a stray cat in London, possessed somewhat of a common touch, giving him an ability to really connect with fellow cats in the area.

Early indications were that Larry showed every sign of being able to adjust to his new position,with a No 10 spokesman describing Larry as ‘chilled’ in the new role. However, it took Larry six months in the post before he made his first ‘confirmed kill’, with his regime constantly being undermined by his lethargy.

It has become clear that Larry has come as far as he can simply as a populist. His record stands at only one rat killed. Larry needs to add substance to his style.

This substance is something that is certainly provided by Freya since she re-joined the Osborne household in June. The prodigal cat, after going missing from the Osbornes’ family home in Notting Hill three years ago, turned up again this year and has since joined Larry in mouse-catching duties in Downing street with great effectiveness.

However, whilst there are still nearly three years to go until the next general election, the ruthless logic of rodent reduction makes the coalition partners’ task dauntingly difficult. Larry’s act of defiance is a message pleading No 10 to hold on, to wait and see, to bear with him as the pair sort out the rats. But the rats do not look very sorted out right now. We can expect growing cat calls for Larry and Freya to part company altogether in the 12 months before 2015.