I’m in love with an older, taken woman!
I have recently got a new job and have fallen head over heels in love with a woman who also works there – she is two years older though. We get on really well but I fear she has a boyfriend, I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to ask her because the potential cold heart tearing truth would destroy what little faith I have in love..
Lovelorn Second Year
Madame X: Honey, you need to kick yourself out of this limbo and take action. Get with her or get over her.
Moody Teen Emo: She has a boyfriend, so I doubt that she will go for you, I’m afraid. If you try, and succeed, she will be cheating on her boyfriend. If she leaves him for you, you’ll probably get beaten up by her boyfriend and you’ll be forever wondering if and when she is going to leave you for the next charming young bloke that comes along.
Honey Badger: All you can do is confirm your fear. And if it’s as you feared then move on. Turn up the music, whack on Hannah Montana and sob profusely. Then dust yourself off and go out and find someone else. In the immortal words of HM, Life’s What You Make It.
Wise Owl: You don’t have to ask her if she has a boyfriend, just keep it casual and ask her if she fancies going for a coffee or something. If she says yes, it doesn’t mean she’s single because really that isn’t a date, but at least if she says yes it’s a good opportunity to ask and get to know each other better. Or, you could do the less brave thing and ask around at work – someone’s bound to know!
Not Your Average Blonde: This is a simple situation. You like her. But she has a boyfriend and by the looks of it she won’t be dumping him anytime soon for you, so move on. There’s no reason you can’t stay friends with the girl. After all you may be the one she runs to when they finally break up.
Too Much To Handle!
I’m really scared because I am worried that the work at university will be much more difficult than A Levels and that I will fail and have to drop out. Please help, Agony Family!
Terrified Fresher
Honey Badger: It honestly depends on the subject that you’re doing. Generally, there isn’t a colossal leap in work, but essays become trickier as you have to reference. Get your head around whichever referencing style your department uses early as you don’t want to lose easy marks!
Not Your Average Blonde: I was once told that A-levels were the hardest thing I would ever do. Boyyyy were they wrong. Doing a degree is a huge leap but don’t be worried, be prepared. Just keep on top of your work. It sounds simple but don’t leave the reading until an hour before your seminar because you will sit there looking like you know nothing. Also don’t be scared to ask your seminar teachers to talk over your essays with you to help you improve. First year is all about getting to grips with this new way of studying. And remember you only need 40% in first year.
Wise Owl: You’re a fresher and you’re already panicking before uni has started?! It’ll be a long 3 years of constant stress if this is how you’re starting it. Take a deep breath, you’re a fresher- just relax and enjoy yourself for a bit.
Moody Teen Emo: First year doesn’t count. You’ll hear those four words oh so frequently this year. Don’t worry about it- it is next to impossible to fail and if it is really stressing you out, you can talk to your supervisor. If you really want to do well and impress in first term, do the prelim reading. No one does the prelim reading so if you do it you’ll be a step above the rest. You’ll be fine though.
Madame X: In your life, people will say that GCSEs/A-Levels/a degree/getting a house/childbirth are the most difficult thing you’ll have to do. Do not listen to them. Listen to me – take each day as it comes and you’ll find your stride.
I want my flatmate!
I’ve been assigned my house at university and on adding my future flatmates on Facebook I’ve realised I’m going to be flatmates with a total hottie. We have exchanged messages and he seems like such a great guy. I’m worried that I already have a crush on him. I need advice- Do you think house relationships can work?
Facebook Fanatic
Honey Badger: Really it depends upon the flat dynamic. Stunners are hard to come by in York, and if he’s a fittie I’d be severely tempted to say go for it…but I’d wait until you’re out of Freshers’ week. If you can last that long, in the accelerated incubation period of Freshers, you’ll actually be friends before you do anything major, instead of just Freshers f*** buddies. Hopefully if you can move past it though, all will be well, the flat won’t be monumentally awkward if things don’t work out and you can go on enjoying Freshers.
Moody Teen Emo: Don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched. Clichéd, I know, but there are thousands of hotties at University and you don’t have to eat breakfast with them! It is not a good idea to sleep with a flatmate, especially not in Freshers. Wait til you get to York before you fall in love, please!
Madame X: Don’t restrict yourself to one diamond, when a myriad of gems are yours for the polishing when you’re finally here. Get to know him first, people often paint themselves with a glossy finish online.
Wise Owl: Been there, done that! They can work, but you should be really careful. Firstly, the difference with house relationships is that it does not necessarily pay to be bold. You have to play a waiting game, make absolutely sure that he likes you before you make any moves, otherwise it can just make an awkward environment in the house. You shouldn’t talk to your other housemates about it either; the first few weeks should be just about getting to know each other, so save the drama for after that.
Not Your Average Blonde: Oh girl, you can’t fall for a guy you haven’t even met yet. There are loads of other great guys to meet at university so don’t scapegoat yourself to this particular one. But don’t ignore him; simply set yourself a rule that you won’t get with him until the second week; after all, his kitchen and bathroom habits may repulse you.