Steve Williams is a Welsh comedian and compere. He won the Chortle Award for Best Open Mic in 2002 and has since toured up and down the country, performing at various venues and festivals such as the Edinburgh Fringe. He’s currently busy writing Russell Howard’s Good News and has just appeared on Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow. Steve is on tour around the UK this February.
Vision: So, you’re Welsh, Steve. What’s your favourite thing about being Welsh?
Steve Williams: The Flag. Its got a dragon on it with a curly tail. If you like dragons but also like pigs finally there’s a flag that doesn’t make you choose.
V: Give us your favourite one liner.
SW: Did you hear about the dyslexic terrorists that broke into London zoo and took two ostriches?
V: Which region is the easiest to get a laugh out of?
SW: I find DVD region 2 is easier to make laugh, although those oil rigs, airlines and cruise ships in region 8 are just as affable.
V: You’ve travelled all over the world, which was the most unusual gig?
SW: I once performed at the British Embassy in Paris which was unbelievable. The real mind bending part was staying in the same suite as Tony Blair, John Major and Margaret Thatcher. Obviously they weren’t there when I was there, although the way I phrased it did make it sound like one of William Hague’s sleep overs.
V: What are your pre-performance routines and demands?
SW:Demands? Like in a hostage situation? My demands are to have a jet fuelled up with a pilot who will take me to a destination that I will confirm once I am onboard the plane, its usually Swansea but I like to keep him guessing.
V: Who is your favourite comedian?
SW: Eddie Izzard, Billy Connolly, Dylan Moran. They are all exquisite.
V: Can you recommend an up-and-coming comedian to Vision readers?
SW:Mark Hooper he’s currently flying high and just started work on a new pilot.
V: You were the warm up man on Nigella’s show – Do you have any humorous kitchen stories?
SW: My friend travelled through India and stopped at a small village where they offered him food. He said it was the most amazing curry he had ever eaten and when he asked the chef what curry it was he hit a language barrier. Then the chef worked out the question, smiled and miaowed.
V: Which Friends character would you compare yourself to?
SW: Gunther…
V: Who’s the person who you’d most like to be stuck in a lift with?
SW: Kate Moss – she’s really skinny, would take up less room and is the only supermodel with a GNVQ qualification in lift engineering.
V: When you aren’t performing, what do you get up to?
SW: I try and hone my time machine. At the moment it only goes forwards at a rate of 1 hour per hour I need it to go back in time to make it more useful. Oh and I also spend my time writing Russell Howard’s Good News.
V: What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever done?
SW: At a military gig I got into a heckling situation with a drunken squaddie. He told me to do my job and tell some jokes, so I told him to do his job follow orders and shut up. There was a deafening silence where I thought a riot was going to kick off then everyone burst out laughing as I gently soiled myself.
V: What’s the best book you’ve ever read?
SW: The phone book. It really is a who’s who of people in my area.
V: If you could be any superhero who would it be?
SW: Bag for life man. I’d have been bitten by a radioactive bag for life and then possess the power to carry goods home from the supermarket in a responsible and sustainable manner. One in the eye for my arch enemy plastic bag-asaurus rex!
V: Favourite Doctor Who?
SW: David Tennant. He was funny, Scottish and his last name is a type of beer. If you’re reading this thinking WHO is a type of beer, you shouldn’t be at University.
V: PC or Mac?
SW: I like my computer like I like my flashers, covered in a Mac.
V: Who’s your comedy inspiration?
SW: Izzard, Connolly and my friends.
V: What’s your funniest festival story?
SW: I went on stage at Reading Festival naked – that was a laugh until I was off work ill for a week with suspected pneumonia.
V: What’s the one thing you couldn’t live without?
SW: Oxygen.
V: If you stumbled across a time machine, what would you do?
SW: Use it for food storage. Then I could legitimately tell people that I own the only time travelling pantry in the world. The best bit though, is there’d be no ‘Steve we’ve run out of Um-Bongo’ moment, cause I’ll just send it back to a time when it was full and throw myself a smile as I down sweet orangey kids drinks like its 1999.