With the 88th Academy Awards just around the corner, we thought we’d give the legendary ceremony a run for its money and create our own categories to reward some of the films that the Academy may have overlooked…
Warning: spoilers ahead!
Best Comeback
Sylvester Stallone – Creed
Harrison Ford – Star Wars
T-Rex – Jurassic World
High Keays-Buren – Mad Max: Fury Road
Jennifer Jason Leigh – The Hateful Eight
WINNER: T-REX FROM JURASSIC WORLD
Overwhelmed by the attention received after his acclaimed performance in the Jurassic Park trilogy, Rexy was reluctant to re-join the limelight of the big screen. Knocks to the confidence exacerbated his reclusiveness when only once he plucked up the courage to audition for another film. Rumour has it he was rejected by Pixar when told his look was ‘too harsh’ to play the titular character in The Good Dinosaur. There were doubts he would agree to return for Jurassic World, but life, uh, finds a way.
Best Scene-stealer
Rathtars – Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Coma-Doof Warrior – Mad Max: Fury Road
Thomas the Tank Engine – Ant Man
Mosasaurus – Jurassic World
Steve Carell’s Hair –The Big Short
WINNER: COMA-DOOF WARRIOR FROM MAD MAX: FURY ROAD
Coma-Doof Warrior (Doof to his friends) jams 24/7 on the Fury Road, single-handedly composing the soundtrack to arguably the biggest and baddest movie car-chase of all time. The metal-head war-boy steals the show when a scuffle involving Max Rockatansky occupies his platform. Violence, flames, electric guitar, a musician with no eyes, a red onesie; there’s something for everyone.
Best Tearjerker
Death of Rachel – Me, Earl and The Dying Girl
Bing Bong’s Death – Inside Out
Eazy E Death – Straight Outta Compton
Paul Walker’s Last Appearance – Furious 7
Ailish Says Goodbye to Her Sister – Brooklyn
WINNER: BING BONG’S DEATH IN INSIDE OUT
We saw it coming. It didn’t make it hurt any less. Bing Bong’s death hits you like a freight train (or Train of Thought, if you will), each hit is harder than the last. He starts by urging Joy to ‘sing louder’, hinting at his plan. Please no. The martyr then throws his elephantine body from the accelerating rocket. Don’t do this Pixar. His arm begins to fade away as he cheers for Joy’s success in escaping the Memory Dump. Hold back the tears. “Take Riley to the moon for me”. He withers away in the foggy abyss. Here come the waterworks.
Most Frustrating Ending
Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Carol
Avengers: Age of Ultron
The Lobster
Fantastic Four
WINNER: THE LOBSTER
The finale of The Force Awakens offered an almost literal cliff-hanger, but boy did it psych us for Episode VIII. Fantastic Four fizzled out with the dampest of squibs as The Thing stumbled upon the ideal alliteration for their team name. Hooray. However the disappointment levels of that movie were pretty consistent throughout. Nevertheless, The Lobster ends out of nowhere and angers you as a result. An unresolved resolution. An inconclusive conclusion. The titlecard hits and you’re left reeling. But the candid culmination of this dark comedy suits it to the ground.
Best Animal:
The Bear – The Revenant
The Animal Cast – The Lobster
Ant-ony- Ant-Man
The Dog – The Danish Girl
Blofeld’s Cat – Spectre
WINNER: THE BEAR – THE REVENANT
The role of “the Bear” that mauled Leonardo DiCaprio’s character in The Revenant was one that was aggressively sought after, with big names such as Paddington and Yogi reportedly in the mix. However, producers decided to cast a newcomer against the acting heavyweight to stunning results. The Bear brought a depth and gritty (or should I say, grizzly) realism previously unseen on screen before. According to reports, she remained in character throughout the entire shoot and kept her distance from DiCaprio in order to maintain the conflicted relationship that their characters shared. Undoubtedly, the Bear puts in the best performance by an animal in a motion picture of 2015; don’t be surprised if she wins gold on the night of the Oscars over her co-star DiCaprio.
Best Death Scene
Zara – Jurassic World
Immortan Joe – Mad Max: Fury Road
Finnick Odair – The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2
Exploding Heads – Kingsman: The Secret Service
The Alcaron Family – Sicario
WINNER: FINNICK ODAIR – THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY PART 2
2015 was rife with spectacular death scenes, whether they be triumphant (a la Immorten Joe) or ridiculously humourous (most notably the exploding heads in Kingsman). However, no death arguably matches the sheer spectacle and emotion of Finnick Odair’s in the final instalment of The Hunger Games franchise. As an audience we grew to love the cocky and self-assured character in his first appearance in Catching Fire and then sympathised with his tormented state in Mockingjay: Part 1. Although, death by mutant lizard; how many fictional characters can put that on their grave stone?
Biggest Let Down
Pan
Fantastic 4
Legend
Terminator: Genysis
Victor Frankenstein
WINNER: FANTASTIC 4
Let’s face it; when it was revealed that Rooney Mara, a white woman, was going to portray Tiger Lily, a Native American, we knew Pan was doomed. The expectation of high quality entertainment from Terminator: Genysis was pretty much non-existent (hello, Jai Courtney’s in it). However, we must present the award for “Biggest Let-down” to Fantastic Flop – sorry – Fantastic 4. Viewers were initially hesitant about 20th Century Fox re-booting the franchise, but the trailers for the film promised fans a darker and more mature take on Marvel’s first family. What they received? A low energy and clunky film with one of the most pitiful final third acts in recent memory. Do the right thing, Fox – give the rights to these characters back to Marvel, where they will truly be given the justice they deserve.
Films That Are Better Than Their Premise
Joy – Woman Makes Mop
The Martian – Man Grows Potatoes on Mars
45 Years – Old White People Have Problems
Jurassic World – Dinosaur escapes – again!
Black Mass – Johnny Depp stars in a film not directed by Tim Burton but still looks weird.
WINNER: THE MARTIAN
Okay, so admittedly there is a little more to the narrative and synopsis of The Martian than just a man growing potatoes with a little help from the faeces of his colleagues. Matt Damon’s character Mark Watney does spend an awful lot of time up on Mars alone and us as an audience spend a lot of time watching him grow vegetables and complain about disco music. However, this proves to be a complete and utter treat. With a stellar cast including the aforementioned Matt Damon, Jessica Chastain, Jeff Daniels and Chiwetel Ejiofor, a polished screenplay from Drew Goddard and legendary director Ridley Scott at the helm, The Martian is arguably one of the most entertaining films of 2015.
Entertaining read :)