A Vision A to Z of York

Alcuin college. Home to York’s brightest scientists, this place is a hub for white-coated boffins shedding the specs and cutting loose after a hard day at the labs #jinkies.

Borthwick Institute. Likened to Pyongyang’s Hotel of Doom, no one really knows what it institutes but it has a damn good bridge.

Courtyard. York University’s only Michelin star restaurant. Sink into a booth and a ‘full works’ burger.

Gourmet-Burger-Resized

Derwent College. As racuous as downtown Bogota, as clean as Naples mid-strike. Venture in at your own risk. Be wary of asbestos/chlamydia or just having a good time.

Egos. You will find these smattered across campus. Some broken, some nurtured. Natural habitat – student media.

Forty Four. Your bus for the year, it will be the enabler to all your wildest hopes and dreams i.e. ‘Town’. Just how many can you fit on that back seat?

Goodricke College. Home of the well-to-do, and fondly referred to as the Mecca of the (Heslington) East.

SONY DSC

Heslington East. York’s latest acquisition to the empire, this swampy marsh houses three colleges: Goodricke and Langwith, and now Constantine. You’ll be more likely to visit the York Centre for Medieval and Renaissance Music than Hes East.

Irrelevant. Life, this article. It may also stand for Immunoglobulin, which is found in tears and saliva. Two fluids that were in abundance over the course of our first year.

Jamiroquai. Unavailable for Live ‘n’ Loud but has previously recorded with York’s own saxophone legend Jim Corry. The live music scene is alive in York, go out and find it.

Kuda. Explore this cesspit club of sweat more cramped than a people smuggler’s ferry. Listening to 50 Cent in the groundfloor van is a highlight. #indavan

Locals. Amicable by day, neanderthal by night, you must never look one straight in the eye past midnight.

unibus

Minster. Making up for something, God?

Nisa. Not the wisest choice for a weekly food shop. Plus they still refuse to accept no-one will ever buy packs of single shot apple sourz. Stay away from their veg, insect pupae are to be found.

Ozone layer. Close your fridges.

Phat Fridays. If you enjoy old ‘skool’ Hip Hop and the sensation of hyperventilation, then this is the place for you. Also good for the queue connoisseur.

mallard-flight

Quack. Fucking ducks or ‘les mallards, ils sont malades’ just don’t mess with the geese.

Rumpy pumpy, hanky panky, bumping uglies, horizontal refreshment or plain s-e-x. Stictly forbidden in Langwith and Alcuin.

Salvo. Do you like shit music and horrible people? A great night for the whole family. Bring your snapbacks and prepare to experience death by skanking.

Tron. Selected by Vision as the number one man you need to know on campus. Our disabled students officer and by all accounts a character.

hes east

Urinary tract infection, what you get when you fall into the lake whilst relieving yourself. #baller.

Vision. The most awarded student newspaper in the country.

Wentworth. What do those postgrads get up to? Well, judging by the tumbleweed dispenser that is The Edge, not much.

Xpartners. Leave them at home. Make new ex-partners.

YOOORKSHIRE, YOOORKSHIRE, YOOORKSHIRE!!! A catchy little ditty belted out by hoards of locals on a Saturday night. Interrupt at your own peril.

Ze’ foreign community. Refer to letter ‘H’. York has a vibrant and active community of internationals. The international and Erasmus events are often highlights.