Hola, tech lovers. If you want a quick summary of this past week in tech and gaming, you are in the right place. But, before we begin, can we be so bold as to say you are looking fantastic today? No not you, the other one. The good looking one with the great personality.
Now, for the Tech News Roundup this week:
Announcements:
EU roaming charges halved: “Dad, don’t be mad, but…” is not the start to a sentence you want to speak after constantly using your phone on a family holiday. Thankfully, you won’t have to, as EU leaders have introduced a cap on roaming charges, halving that pesky phone bill when you come back.
Grass Simulator: So people are clearly not sick of ‘simulator’ games akin to Goat Simulator 2014 and are hungry for more. Grass Simulator 2014 is coming in late 2014 and it looks terrible, but it’s ok because it was made ‘ironically’ – a free pass for making a deficient game for bandwagoning children. Be right back, off to take our medication.
Airtight Games closes: Say your prayers, because the developer of Dark Void and Murdered: Soul Suspect will be needing them, now that it’s closed its doors. The temptation to make a Murdered: Soul Suspect ‘rise from the dead and solve its own death’ joke is all too tempting. And now, all too late! Jokes aside, our condolences to the employees who lost their jobs – best of luck for the future.
Age of Empires Online ceases: The servers of the interesting experiment that was Age of Empires Online were shut on the first of July, as planned. Based on Juggernaut series Age of Empires, this MMO was received well by critics and gamers alike. If you were one of the 5 people still playing it, well, our condolences. Everyone else, life goes on.
Releases:
Pokémon iTunes channel: There is now a Pokemon Channel on iTunes, featuring music, episodes from the series, Pokedex apps and basically anything else related to Pokemon. The only thing it currently lacks is a banner stating the obvious – that Yu-Gi-Oh! is far superior.
The Walking Dead: Season Two on Android: Did you know that The Walking Dead TV show is returning for its 5th season this October? Did you also know that you’ve not experienced The Walking Dead for a good while now? Well, now you can! The second season of The Walking Dead video game is available on Google Play, just to get you back into a zombie-slaying kind of mode.
Kim Kardashian: Hollywood: In this modern day and age, bloated with AAA blockbusters and ‘give us yer cash’ Wii games, the gaming community has been longing for a compelling video game for years. Now, they’ll be left salivating, as Kim Kardashian comes to the rescue with Hollywood, which allows gamers to ‘create your own aspiring celebrity and rise to fame and fortune’ on App Store and Google Play. For the capitalist in all of us.
Warface: What’s that? You want yet another generic free-to-play first person shooter? Well thankfully, Crytek has you covered with Warface, a very pretty but extremely unoriginal take on the futuristic first person shooter genre. Hopefully, the experience of installing and playing this unimaginative trite will help people reaccess their priorities in life.
Sales:
Humble Store Freedom Sale: Two days ago, in 1776, we announced our freedom as a country to the world. Oh, wait… actually, we invaded said country, and failed. Still, that doesn’t mean we can’t celebrate our failure! The Humble Store recently began its DRM-free ‘Freedom Sale’, with major discounts on games from Worms: Reloaded and Dead Island: Riptide.
Dead Space 3 for free: The third game in the exhilarating Dead Space series is free on PlayStation Plus. Thankfully, you can download this one guilt-free knowing that Dead Space 3 was a perfect example of EA’s attempts to maximize profits by homogenizing a game that should have taken the survival horror genre forward. Yes we’re bitter, sue us.
Xbox Live Games for Gold: Neither of us have an Xbox, but we wish we had at the prospect of free games. July’s Games for Gold on Xbox Live are as follows: Max: The Curse of Brotherhood, Gotham City Imposters, Halo: Spartan Assault and Guacamelee! Super Turbo Championship Edition. No, we haven’t heard of the last one either.
Special Mention
Monty Python video game: Yep, the time has come folks, a Monty Python video game has arrived. The Ministry of Silly Walks is available for Android and iOS and will allow the player to walk in the streets of London, avoiding pigeons and numerous other obstacles, Temple Run style. John Cleese, who starred in the original sketch, has provided the developers with his voice, allowing for some hilarity and nostalgia. Walk on over to your nearest app store and download it for a mere 99p!
And that’s it from us folks. Enjoy your Sunday and see you next week for more Tech News Roundup shenanigans!