Agony Family: Costcutter Chat-Up, Pearl Necklace and Toilet Trauma!

This is the first post from YorkVision‘s exciting new section, Agony Family! We are here to sort out all of your University troubles. Meet Moody Teen Emo, Honey Badger, Madame X, Wise Owl and Miss Scarlet; we are all students at the University of York here to salve your wounds and sort out your lives. If you have any burning questions, please do drop us an email at [email protected]. 

Costcutter Chat-Up

I keep seeing attractive men in the CostCutter line but am afraid to approach them. How do I chat them up, Agony Family?

Moody Teen Emo – Simple, be hilarious and alluring by using a line like this-“Ooh you got Doritos they’re my favourite! Wanna share them at my place?”

Honey Badger – Spill a drink over them, apologise, then ask them to go for a drink #TeenDramaLogic

Madame X -Have a quick mirror check of yourself and chew down a mint. The worst thing you could is to sidle up to this manly specimen with terrible breath and dried snot. Confidently strike up a conversation, dropping subtle hints of your interest. Do not wait for him to ask you out – get his name, get his number, get a date.

Wise Owl – Don’t do it! I honestly don’t think it’s the best place to chat anyone up, but if you just can’t help it then just strike up a conversation about anything. It’s unlikely that any technique is going to work in this scenario so take the Dr Pepper approach- you have nothing to lose, so what’s the worst that can happen?

Miss Scarlet – Personally I’ve never been one to make the first move and I am more likely to shop in the Harrods food hall than CostCutter. But if you find yourself confronted with a Tom Hardy lookalike, then darling, grab the bull by the horns. Don your tightest red dress and sashay in front of him in the queue, pick up a 2 for 1 bottle of something and suggest he have the other. What man can refuse a feisty woman offering alcohol?

Pearl Necklace

My boyfriend and I have been saving for months for our own place but last night he asked me if I would let him give me a pearl necklace. Obviously I’m flattered and if we weren’t saving every penny for our own house I’d say yes in an instant but I feel guilty accepting it at the moment. What should I do?

Wise Owl – Ask him about the necklace and whether it is actually what you should be spending you’re money on at the moment, but make sure you let him know you appreciate the sentiment. Maybe there is something else going on, is he reconsidering getting a house together but not sure how to tell you? It’s not something to panic about, but the best thing to do is definitely talk to him about it- and do it soon! Wondering whether he has changed his mind will drive you crazy, but if you’re in a secure enough relationship to even consider living together, the conversation will be fine- it’s always better to get these things out in the open.

Miss Scarlet – Darling, take the necklace as a gift. Obviously if he’s buying jewels like that he has some extra cash stashed.

Honey Badger – There’s always more jewellery but houses come around less often! Just tell him it’s a sweet gesture, but you want to get your place together first, and that means more to you than any jewellery, unless he’s giving rather than buying it, in which case TAKE the necklace!

Smarter than the Average Blonde – A house takes a long time to save for and it’s unrealistic to think you are going to get one soon with the housing market currently in the state it is. There isn’t many about. If your boyfriend wants to treat you to a necklace, accept it with a smile. He may never suggest the idea again.

Madame X – Darling, getting a house with a partner is a big deal. You are both committing to living together and sharing everything together. He knows this, you know this. If the man wants to give you a pearl necklace, let him give you a pearl necklace! He clearly feels you’re the one for him.

Moody Teen Emo – I hope by ‘pearl necklace’ he means the jewellery…are you two in FetSoc? Joking aside, tell him to wait until you’re both more financially secure before buying each other lavish gifts.

Toilet Trauma

My boyfriend has recently started leaving the door wide open when he goes to the toilet. I thought I could handle it, but now he will bang on the door when I’m in the shower, wanting to use the loo. Friends warned me that sharing with my boyfriend in the second year was a bit hasty, but I believed we wouldn’t lose our sexual spark. Seeing and hearing him doing his ‘business’ kind of makes me repulsed by him.  Help me agony family; how do I make him close the damn door?

Miss Scarlet ­– You can see this in either one of two ways. First that he is extremely comfortable with you and in front of you so clearly you have a strong relationship. Alternatively, he is a typical unperceptive bloke and needs to learn about boundaries. Hello, a woman’s bathroom time is her time, it’s a pamper session that does never requires a man’s presence.

Wise Owl – I can seriously relate to this issue, and I understand the problem more than I’d like to admit! Living with your boyfriend in second year is filled with problems on the day to day scale, but the important thing is to remember the bigger picture. There isn’t anything wrong with the relationship, and in my experience the only way to navigate through these little issues is to talk it out. Is there another bathroom he could use? It might be an idea to agree to have different bathrooms because we all need our space. And hey, if all else fails, cling film around the toilet bowl until he learns his lesson…. Do try and avoid breaking up over it; speaking as someone who broke up with their boyfriend while living with them, it is awful!

Moody Teen Emo – Why oh why did you opt to share with your boyfriend? Once you see how someone lives it is hard to keep the attraction alive. Also if you break up, it is just going to be a world of awkward. My best friend decided to live with her boyfriend of two years and when they broke up it was very difficult for them as they were living together and therefore couldn’t avoid each other.

Honey Badger – Just leave the door open when it’s your time of the month. If that doesn’t scare him into shutting the door, the Honey Badger doesn’t know what will.

Madame X – Honey, you need to get your priorities straight. If he’s hammering on the door while you’re in the shower, don’t answer the door. When you’re in the bathroom, it’s your time and likewise for him. Manners don’t cost a thing. For him not shutting the door, do it. Look him dead in the eyes while he’s dropping the kids off at the pool, spray Febreeze and slam the door as hard as you can. Do not say a word. Eventually he’ll get the message.