FetSoc is a concept that has intrigued, enthralled and been a source of much controversy since it burst onto the York campus scene earlier this year. With rumours flying around everywhere as to what actually takes place at these meetings (everything from orgies to dungeons of sexual doom) I was thoroughly fascinated and although not into ‘kink’ myself, couldn’t help but want to find out more.
For many, the whole idea of a fetish society, although deemed in its description as ‘relaxed and friendly’ is fairly questionable. It’s fair to say that images of leather clad, sexual deviants with long flowing hair and obligatory whips and chains are what filled my mind when considering who’d be sitting alongside me in my venture into the unknown depths of alternative sexual desire. I was wrong. As I opened the door into this new world (otherwise known as Alcuin) I was greeted by a group of exceedingly normal looking people. So, that was stereotype number one smashed and I couldn’t help but be slightly disappointed – the dark intrigue that the fetish scene holds was being transformed into something more ‘normal’ before my very eyes.
I can’t deny that one of my greatest concerns when I entered into doing this was that the scene into which I was joining would be extremely cliquey and unaccepting of people, like myself, who just wanted to understand everything a bit better. After all, sexual relations, whether of a kinky nature or not, are generally held as something private and personal, however, the group were extremely welcoming. Despite being open, I quickly learnt that this was not the kind of place where you could simply thrust questions at people about what their preferences were and certainly not expect justifications. It’s not the (sober) etiquette.
Despite the opening phrase of “we take you in and pervert your minds” casting a resounding concern of corruption in my head, I couldn’t help but notice that these individuals could find a way to laugh at themselves. There was a distinct clarity of knowledge in how they were perceived by other people. But this ongoing awareness seemed to create an instability in the group – one which after meeting those involved I felt extremely concerned about. The recurring theme of the world outside fetish brought many deep questions to mind. One of the main areas of thought to interest me, spanned from the conversation of whether those with a fetish should have to lose jobs because of it. This was certainly an aspect that I’d never considered and to extent revealed to me that it was the ‘vanilla’ world that had a dark side.
Whilst this struck a chord with me, I couldn’t help feeling edgy when the issue of whether it was a problem if school teachers had fetishes, came up. Children are innocent, impressionable and need to be protected, so when this topic arose my initial thought was that in this case perhaps the issue of employment could come under question in relation to kink. But, then the question came to pass – how would the children find out? I suppose it’s true. Had I not been to the meeting and simply met the people that I did there elsewhere, I’d have no idea of their sexual preferences. On top of this, even in the discussion group, the individuals did not once refer to their own specific fetishes or force their views upon anyone else. “So what if they wear a gimp mask at weekends?” One member added “people expect their teachers as adults to be having sex with their partner so why should it matter how?”
It was a fair enough point and the more I heard the more I realised that perhaps the fetish scene wasn’t quite as niche as I first thought. There seems to be a vast network of those interested in all things kinky in York alone; including groups such as York Munch and on a wider scale ‘playhouses’ and websites which could only be described as kinky “versions of Facebook”. It occurred to me, with such a large underground community, surely it’s impossible to say who is and who isn’t involved in something of this nature, be they teachers, doctors, or Managers. This being the case, you have to ask yourself, if you can’t tell if someone is into kink – or even if you can – with the knowledge that fetish won’t be forced upon you, does it really make a difference?
There are a lot of us out there – more than you’d ever realise. No-one knows how many, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it were 20% of the adult population. Could you really prevent such a sizeable group from holding certain jobs? If you could, you absolutely should not! I would love to be able to choose who I find attractive and what turns me on, but that’s just not an option that is open to me or, I am fairly sure, to you either. Impressionable as children may be, I like to think we’re past the idea that gay teachers can influence their pupils’ sexual orientation and being a kinky pervert is no more a choice for me than being straight or gay.
Disgusting. Keep it in your bedroom rather than on campus. Thanks.
Alia, do you have the same problem with YUSU LGBT? So it’s not for you, fair enough, don’t join the society or come to the meetings. No-one is trying to force their own sexual preferences on you.
I don’t like how FetSoc seem to expect everyone on campus to be completely comfortable with the society and what sort of things it stands for- just because they’re ok with it I don’t think people who aren’t should be immediately branded as narrow minded and wrong. FetSoc seem to think it’s their God-given right to exist as a society, maybe it should just be a group of friends, not an official Yusu society?
“What sort of things [FetSoc] stands for” – you mean open-mindedness, acceptance, not judging others or forcing your own sexual paradigm on them?
It strikes me that some of the things being said by FetSoc’s detractors are remarkably similar to things we used to routinely hear about the “gay community”.
Why do LGBT and these FetSoc people think this society is appropriate?
Do hetereosexuals have a HetereoSoc where they go and have sex everyday?!?!?! NO! They keep that in their bedroom – where sex is supposed to be.
I have a fetish for men with ginger hair. That doesn’t mean I will set up a GingeFetSoc in order to release my urges.
You have sexual preferences fair enough – but do you need to wear your sexual preferences on your sleeve?
“Do hetereosexuals (sic) have a HetereoSoc (sic) where they go and have sex everyday (sic)?!?!?! NO!”
Er, FetSoc is not a society where people go and have sex every day. FetSoc is not SexSoc. That I have to keep pointing this out is really saddening for me. It’s a society which promotes discussion and understanding of kink for those into it or simply curious, and a space where people can go and not feel judged for their sexuality and kinks but can come to gain better understanding and knowledge through discussion with others – I felt like this article made that pretty clear.
I’d totally be up for joining a Ginger Appreciation Society by the way. You could go on trips to Pre-Raphaelite exhibitions and hold showings of Sherlock Holme’s Red-Headed League – it would be awesome! ;)
Aren’t there better things to do that “promote discussion and understanding of kink”?
You guys really need to get a life and stop being so primitive.
What would be a better thing to do that promotes discussion and understanding of kink other than, er, promoting discussion and understanding of kink? I’m really confused.
Alia, I’m a bit concerned that you think that FetSoc will be hosting on-campus orgies or something like that.
LGBTQ societies exist to provide a safe space for students who are LGBTQ. Unfortunately, in a heterosexist society, we have to actively promote welfare and legal rights of people who are not both straight and cisgendered.
I haven’t attended any of FetSoc’s events, but my impression is that they exist to provide a safe space without judgement, and to provide information that can maximise safety. What’s wrong with that?
If LGBTQ or FetSoc is not your cup of tea, or if you don’t feel like you can identify with them, then the solution is to not attend their events – simple.
…why do you keep writing about this society? And why do people keep bothering commenting?
It’s not even that remotely interesting or controversial, it’s just a bunch of people talking about weird sex. What’s the big taboo about sex, or weird sex at that?
Jesus Christ.. get a grip