Which type of drunk are you?
The Phone Drunk
The Phone Drunk will spend most of the night on their phone and will do considerable damage whist TUI-ing (Texting Under the Influence), usually involving embarrassing texts to an ex. Phone Drunks are also responsible for all the badly spelt drunk statuses all over Facebook. If you see a Phone Drunk in action, do them a favour and take their phone from them.
The Amnesiac Drunk
Everyone forgets the odd thing after a night out, but some people are guaranteed to forget every single detail of every single drunken night. The Amnesiac Drunk will wake up the next morning feeling ashamed but will have no idea why. If you are friends an Amnesiac Drunk, you will spend an entire morning watching them squirm whilst you give them a detailed account of the previous night.
The Sharking Drunk
Usually male and most commonly found in Willow, the Sharking Drunk will stop at nothing to pull. The Shark’s desperation increases as the night goes on. He (or occasionally she) will begin the night by picking a single target and shamelessly flirting, but will be physically throwing him or herself at absolutely any potential conquests in the vicinity by the end of the night.
The Emotional Drunk
Determined to make their problems everyone else’s problem, this type of drunk will probably spend the night trying to have a deep meaningful conversation with anyone who will listen: taxi drivers, bouncers, strangers in the toilets – no one is safe. It is also likely that the Emotional Drunk will have a meltdown on a night out and will start weeping over their unresolved father issues.