Where There’s a Wills…

As clothing brands go, most are harmless, with people apathetic at best. Take the American clothing brand Penguin. What can a little aquatic bird do to harm anyone? Not much, I hear you say.

However, the poor pheasant, complete with his little top hat and cane, has come in for some real abuse over the years. As its popularity increases, so to it seems does the hatred. Of course, the acrimonious brand I am describing is Jack Wills.

As I write this from the comfort of East Coast’s First Class facilities, sipping on my complimentary cup of tea en route to London, I’m not here to continue the onslaught. Heavens no. Far from it. I am standing (or sitting, rather) In Defence Of Wills. For too long Wills wearers alike have accepted the torrents of abuse, hurling of chants and endless Facebook groups complete with obscenity. Almost as many people ‘like’ the page “Jack Wills brings rahs to the yard, and they’re like, put it on Daddy’s card” than the actual Facebook page for Jack Wills itself…This must end, it’s time we spoke out. In fact, there are 5 key arguments to pick at…

“Taking off your jack wills gilet after a hard day following the crowd”

You buy your shirts from Topman, I’ll buy mine from Jack Wills. I don’t mind the difference in price and neither should you for goodness sake! We both agree on the fact that we like a check pattern on a shirt, so where’s the problem? Don’t call me a posh tosser for it, we have a more similar taste in fashion than you think!

“Jack Wills brings rahs to the yard, and they’re like, put it on daddy’s card”

It’s the classic. Did Daddy buy you that gilet? Well yes, he probably did. Why has it become a chip on your shoulder, person I’ve never met before on Facebook?! Daddy probably buys you things, and if he doesn’t, don’t blame a clothing company for your languid relationship with your parents!

“I love Jack Wills, but I hate the price tag”

So a shirt sets you back £59, a T-Shirt £29. Is that actually overpriced? And even if it was, it’s my money (unless my 2nd point applies to you). Since when did the common man/woman start caring about my (or my Dad’s) wallet? If I bankrupt myself through excessive purchases of Kirkham underwear and boating blazers, so be it. Don’t lose sleep over it young fellow, calm down over there! I’ll spend my money how I want, and I’ll let you dream about the money you wish you could spend how you want!

“Why are you still in your PJ’s? Oh sorry, didn’t see the Jack Wills logo”

Comparatively, there are other brands that sell pj’s that deserve a lot more flak! Do some market research before you abuse the poor sod wearing his tartan loungepants! You’ll pay double the price for a pair of tracksuit bottoms in Ralph Lauren than in the poor pheasant’s humble abode. It’s even more ‘preppy”’ than Wills too. The logo is a guy playing polo… come on! No wonder we feel victimised…

“I shop at Jack Wills… LOL jk, I’m not a Rah”

A little harsh, wouldn’t you say? Mugabe kills hundreds a day. World poverty exists. Even the tuition fees are going up to £9,000 a year (thank goodness Daddy pays for my education out of his offshore). All of these issues, however, fail to frustrate even the most hardened of students as much as Jack Wills. Take a short breath, compose yourself, and when you really want to punch a guy like me in the back of the head for popping out in my pyjamas to get some organic milk and a pack of six duck eggs, channel that anger into donating to Barnados or something. Basically, there are bigger problems than people who purchase a heavily branded t-shirt once in a while.

So there you have it. five points to consider about the University Outfitter you all love to hate. For those of you who love it, bravo! Continue shopping safe in the knowledge your foes are now well-informed. For the haters who still hate despite this passionate defence, I’ve got a few uses for this bright pink, branded Jack Wills pencil I can think of…

Ciao prepsters!