For years X Factor has dominated the sought after honour of the Christmas No. 1. A chart position that guarantees high sales and high exposure is now seemingly gifted to Simon Cowell’s lastest protege. The sickening image of Cowell rubbing his gleeful paws together on Christmas Morning, as he toasts the success of yet another Christmas No. 1, soon became as inherent with Christmas as the image Santa Claus himself. It seemed no-one could stop the marketing might of the evil mogul, as his withered hand extended its will from TV screen to shop shelves and right into the stockings of thousands of innocent children.
That is until the public, disgruntled at the rise of crap Christmas music (yes, even crapper than usual) and where Cowell’s hand might be going, fought back in a widely documented and tightly contested battle in the run-up to Christmas 2009. The public prevailed and, instead of an overly melodramtic cover of a previously respected song, done by some ironically talentless, talent show winning tool; the incredibly seasonal “Killing in the Name” by Rage Against the Machine took the coveted Christmas title.
The mighty Cowell, not wanting to be outdone on the day he felt belonged to him, devoted himself to a front of good grace and reportedly sent flowers to Jon and Tracy who ran the successful Facebook campaign. The break in this winning streak obviously bruised his ego, if not his bank account. The public, seeing the chance to keep evil King Simon down for good, began a myriad of different campagins for alternative Christmas No. 1’s but without the cohesion of the “Killing in the Name Of” winning attempt.
However this year a similar campaign is running in favor of Biffy Clyro’s “Many of Horror” and although it may seem unfair that Matt Cardle took the glory of the song and renamed it “When We Collide,” Biffy Clyro are already established and successful and the campaign would be best suited to Matt’s tune: no good and proper bashing of drippy chart pop this Christmas it seems.
So what other options do we, the paying public, have? Fed up with X Factor winners and crap alternatives we want something a little more seasonal or jovial. As the excitement of the countdown to Christmas brings out the inner child in all of us, we thought why not celebrate with a classic from all of our childhoods: a Disney song? Wouldn’t it be nice to hear “Hakuna Matata” on the radio during a bitter Winter evening? One for the whole family to enjoy and sing along to and never get sick of (well, not until the 67th time it’s been played that day but at least that’s better than hating the single straight away, which is how we would react to the latest X Factor offering.)
How about a real change-up of what we all expect at Christmas? Some hard hitting West Coast, G-Funk gangsta’ rap, objectifying women and promoting substance abuse, would really tesselate with the festive spirit of Santa. With his love of Christmas eve Sherry and his ho, ho, hos, Snoop Dogg and Santa have a lot more in common than it first seems, and it would certainly spice up the Christmas charts.
Even better, we could promote something to fit with modern student culture as the answer to Simon’s dominanation – something a bit more dubsteppy. Super-producer Skream we’re sure could turn his hands to a sub heavy remix of a classic: “Jingle Bass” anyone?
Yet these choices seem to be wasting a golden opportunity to not only piss on Simon Cowell’s cockiness but also kick start a new career of someone talented and deserving. Why not create a brand new classic instead of dredging one up from the past? We suggest “Old Pine” by Ben Howard. This young singer songwriter’s earthy, English brand of pop-folk could provide the christmas classic that Mumford & Sons “Winter Winds” should have been.
Yet when push comes to shove we think that the prize should go to something older, a timeless classic that all generations can recognize and enjoy. We would love to see The Pogue’s “Fairytale of New York” climb all the way to No. 1 this year: it brings a smile to everyone’s face and it’s impossible not to sing along to. Frequently voted one of the best ever Christmas songs this classic far outweighs whatever unoriginal song X Factor will produce this year. So get downloading, it will be worth it to see Simon Cowell smile and grit his teeth this Christmas.