By Eli Court and Ed Francis
A last Weeze?
Weezer have been offered $10 million to break up. A disgruntled music fan, claiming that the American pop punk band have never improved on their 1996 album Pinkerton, is attempting to gather the cash in order to pursuade them to give it up before they destroy their legacy.
Blogger James Burns claims that he is sick of feeling let down by new releases that fail to live up to the hype, and believes it would be kinder to the fans if the band stopped making music altogether. “Every year, Rivers Cuomo swears that he’s changed, and that their new album is the best thing that he’s done since Pinkerton.” says Burns. “And what happens? Another pile of crap like Beverly Hills or I’m Your Daddy.”
Weezer needn’t worry too much yet; so far Burns has only raised $21 towards his total and has been recieving online death threats from fans angered by his disrespect. Drummer Patrick Wilson seems unruffled, tweeting the other day that “If they can make it to $20 million, we’ll do the delux breakup.”
Lana Del Rage
After the incredible success following the release of the new single “Video Games” you would expect Lana Del Rey to be delighted with all the hype about her, especially after being named Q Magazine’s “Next Best Thing” and becoming an overnight YouTube sensation.
However, the blossoming starlet, famed for her joke level of attractiveness and super sexy image, is not entirely thrilled. In a recent interview Del Rey complained that sceptics are sexist, pointing towards the excessive speculation over her unusually large lips and stating “it wouldn’t happen if I were a man.”
Here at Vision we say sexism? What sexism? Lighten up sweet cheeks, enjoy your success and stop pouting about the gossip.
Rumour has it…
Straight-talking diva Adele has cancelled all of her remaining 2011 tour dates to undergo vocal cord surgery. The twenty three year old has been forced to publically deny that she is suffering from throat cancer, after intense internet speculation following the announcement.
Adele’s representative formally dismissed these rumours, stating that Adele was due to undergo surgery for a haemorrhaged vocal cord and that “all reports regarding any other conditions are a hundred percent false.” After surgery the singer will need to take a substantial rest period in order to avoid causing permanent damage to that famous voice.
Vision wishes Adele a speedy recovery and would like to reassure readers that there is no need to despair and break down to one of her many ballads; she hopes to resume touring in the new year.
What you wrote about Lana Del Rey is ABSURDLY sexist. That is unbelievable. She’s been repeatedly verbally attacked simply because of her appearance, and even those who praise her seem to be unable to get past her looks. This is what women who make music have to put up with; can you imagine being the victim of such bile?
Stephen:
fortunately in today’s society we are all judged on our outward appearance, particularly so in the entertainment industry. if Lana did not want the public or media to comment on her appearance, picking it apart with a fine toothcomb, then she would be better off trying to buy some land in northern scotland, building a windowless hut and yodelling at passing gulls. crucially, being a fine specimen of a man, i’ve only ever been flattered for my personal appearance: tough titties Lana.
i sometimes find my tongue to be salaciously exploring the side of my cheek.
good day sir.
@Daniel Cave
It’s one thing for someone in the public eye to have their appearance constantly scrutinised. But it is another for a writer to say, on the subject: “Lighten up sweet cheeks, enjoy your success and stop pouting about the gossip.” This is not funny. I agree with Stephen.
You cannot argue that women and men get the same treatment regarding their appearance in the media. See almost any ‘women’s’ magazine – constant scrutiny of female stars’ weight, hair, clothing, body hair…men have different beauty standards imposed on them.
Finally, your comment has the feel of a ‘she’s asking for it’ argument. However much you say ‘well, that’s simply the way works, sweetie, go back to writing your little tunes,’ an artist should be able to make music without having every part of their appearance picked apart publically. Otherwise, you’re saying Lana must choose: not be famous, and therefore not be subject to sexist beauty criticism, or be famous and make music, and deal with it silently. My arse.
I want to judge her on her looks. Her music is secondary. I don’t actually care what they sound like as long as i can sit slovenly in my chair, watching MTV and leering like a pervert at my HD screen.
I also chew my tongue in the vicinity of my cheek cavity.