The Tipster

Sure Thing – Rooney and Aguero to be top two Premiership goal-scorers

The Tipster cannot predict which one of these two footballing luminaries will come out on top in what seems like a two-horse race for top scorer this season. While Suarez, Dzeko or Torres may have great figures come May, Wayne and “Kun” are in a league of their own for their respective Manchester giants. Rooney has the ability to change games in a second, but hasn’t been prolific in the past. With age, his goal tally has increased rapidly, but this term he has a direct challenger for the Golden Boot in Aguero who, since his move from Atletico Madrid, has scored nearly a goal a game and looks destructive. Despite his current injury lay-off, to think he will not be back scoring again soon is absurd. The Sheikh has spent his money well, it seems.

Tipster’s Odds: 5/4

Long Shot – Wales to win the Rugby World Cup

This prediction has the Tipster almost wishing himself to be wrong (but not quite, his ego reigns supreme), as Wales have shown such incredible fight so far, culminating in a thumping 22-10 win over Ireland in the quarter final last weekend. Led by the inspirational Sam Warburton, and full of attacking prowess – especially in Shane Williams – they go into the semi against France full of confidence. However, we have seen the French at their best in the knockout phase, outclassing England in a formidable display, and even if the men in red do reach the final, they will be up against either Australia or New Zeland, both simply outstanding outfits. While it has undoubtedly been a tournament to remember for Wales, ultimate victory may just be out of their reach.

Tipster’s Odds: 7/1

Absolute Madness – Carlos Tevez to resign for Man United in January

Picture the scene: Chicharito is out for the season, Michael Owen retires to become a racehorse trainer and Berbatov sadly passes away after reportedly not being arsed to move out of the way of an oncoming car. United are short of strikers. Carlito, in limbo after his manager vowed to never play him again for City after refusing to come off the bench in September’s Champions League defeat to Bayern Munich, is given a lifeline by Sir Alex: £20 million to take him back across town. The “Welcome to Manchester” poster is brought out of storage and painted red. Tevez goes on to save United’s season, scoring 25 goals alongside Wayne “Samson” Rooney as the Red Devils go onto win the treble. But – oh no, what’s this?! Early into next season, Tevez runs over Mike Phelan in his Ferrari in the training ground car-park after the assistant manager criticised his technique. He will never play for the club again. Yet he is given a lifeline by new City boss José Mourinho… You can see where this is going.

Tipster’s Odds: 500/1