I have to be honest, in the process of revising and resisting the urge to procrastinate on facebook, I have found a new obsession in the form of The Apprentice.
There’s no denying that the tasks have become wackier and wackier as the weeks have gone on. The latest offering: branding the next best pet food that no one in their right mind will buy. What has got me barking mad (pardon the pun) is hearing, every week, one contestant claiming they hadn’t had an opportunity to shine. Worse yet, it has taken over five weeks for me to know the names of half of the contestants, especially Zoe, who has a voice dull enough to make you want to shoot yourself.
The big problem is that there is way too much time spent in the boardroom, focusing on Lord Sugar and less time on the actual tasks. I remember when The Apprentice was actually about the contestants trying desperately to sell and negotiate over tacky products that look like they belong in Poundland. I prefer to watch the smug shenanigans of the contestants, such as recently evicted Vincent, who spent more time oiling his face and chatting up birds than actually coming up with a decent brand name. And then there’s Jim, who has a demonic hypnotic power that keeps him terminally out of the final three showdown.
Unfortunately the show now revolves around the supposed ‘larger than life’ Lord Alan Sugar, who uses every opportunity to make a grand entrance and introduce the next task flanked by his minions, Nick and Karen.
Now, a good portion of the show is an opportunity for Sugar to showcase his half-hearted one-liners in the boardroom. Case in point being when he described the first fired contestant, Edward, as “a slow internet connection: You have to wait, and you see him ticking over.” The idea of being his next business partner is more terrifying than tempting.
But for this show to remain sweet, we need less Sugar and more drama.