There is no denying the simple and wonderful truth about Glee: it is unbelievably addictive. Now E4 is showing another season of the all-singing, all-dancing students of McKinley High and I have, once again, become obsessed by what everyone’s favourite show choir New Directions will be performing in the upcoming weeks. However, I have also been told when you fall in love with something it will eventually break your heart. This is something I will not, and cannot, accept about a how with such soul-lifting potential. For this reason I am going to list all of what is wrong with the music of Mr. Schuester’s students, to purge my fevered mind of Glee’s (unfortunately multiple) sins.
First of all, they are not technically a Glee club at all. Their songs are always accompanied by a band, which seems to be on call 24/7 to meet every need of this demanding club who are likely to burst into song at the drop of a hat. In the first episode of the last season, the kids cracked out an epic version of ‘Don’t Stop Believing’ by Journey to convince Mr. Shu to stay. Since then, very few of their performances have involved as much vocal involvement and usually they are just straight covers of songs, which leaves them looking like a glorified karaoke group at best. Already this season I have struggled to tell the difference, if there is any, between their version of the lyrically awkward and horrendously wealth-orientated ‘Billionaire’ and the flaccid original.
As I have mentioned the sensitive issue of the ever-present support band, I may as well continue on this bizarre and frustrating subject. The whole point of Glee club was to give a voice to those who have none and are the lowest of the social order at high school, but it always seems that the only people less represented than the singers of Glee are those who play in their band. I don’t think I have ever seen those poor souls once get credit for playing songs that these melodramatic teens decide at a moment’s notice. If New Directions are a glorified karaoke club then the band is the unnoticed and unappreciated jukebox, whose role is constantly usurped by the lead male Finn’s occasional desire to play drums.
Yet these minor quibbles pale in comparison to Glee’s biggest musical sin. There is nothing worse, no musical tic more upsetting or aggravating than when Mr. Shu bursts into rap. I cannot imagine anything more mentally scarring than if my supervisor decided that in order to solve one of my personal problems he should break try out hip-hop. This genre of music is never going to be anything more than uncomfortable on a show like Glee and this is only compounded by Will Schuster’s singing it to prove to us all he is the cool teacher the kids can relate to.
Musically, Glee is blessed in so many respects that it truly pains me to have to point out these reservations. However, my enjoyment of this most heartwarming of shows is regularly compromised by the issues that I feel compelled to point out. So basically I am making a heartfelt appeal to the show’s producers. Please guys, let’s have more original covers, greater recognition of those hardworking band members and definitely LESS RAP! For the sake of all the Gleeks out there and for the good of the show itself, Mr. Shu must realise he is not the white Kanye West, Jay-Z or even Sisqó.