Dizzee Rascal ft James Corden
I’m a fat, irritating, and smug celebrity and, a few weeks ago, I asked my mate Dizzee to sell out even more by recording a cringeworthy rap over a gash awful song where I shout a chorus that is neither inspirational nor enjoyable. It is the musical equivalent of Nuts magazine and will be number one until England’s inevitable quarter final exit. EngLAD.
Yolande Be Cool
Every summer holiday is usually defined by a daft cheesy house tune played over and over again in clubs across Europe. And it seems this summer will be no different as Australian band Yolanda Be Cool and producer DCUP create an instant club classic that bounces along with a hook so catchy it will be ingrained in the head for days. It’s nonsensical and tacky, but all the better for it.
Swedish House Mafia ft Pharrell Williams
‘One’ is another house tune likely to become synonymous with Summer 2010, albeit one with a little more credibility – the brains behind SWH are all high profile DJs in their own right. Yet, apparently the public are perceived as too fickle to listen to a song without it having a ‘feat.’. In this instance, Pharrell adds a weak vocal that totally dilutes the explosive euphoria of the original mix. If only the cynical marketing execs could have left the original masterpiece alone without feeling obliged to cater for the daytime Radio One audience.
3OH!3 ft. Ke$ha
Bleurgh! What is this absolute bilge?! How has this got past record companies’ taste sensors and why oh why are these people allowed anywhere near microphones? Whilst the Americans complain about BP ruining their shore lines, we have as much right to complain that these American exports are devastating British ears. Two overgrown jocks and a slurred wannabe bad girl shouting schoolyard chants over some clapping followed by a chorus that makes you yearn for perforated ear drums. Depressing.